So we spend mucho $$ on a swing set.  My thought was, he’s an only child, he will have hours of fun playing on his wonderful new swing set.  Guess what?  He only plays on it when he has friends over or mom & dad are outside.  He has great fun with his friends.  The playhouse is great for pretending to have a lemonade stand, etc…  Maybe he will spend more time on it by himself as he gets older.  I will tell you one thing – if I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have bought it.  I can take him to the park if he wants to play with friends or with me.  Funny, hindsight is still 20/20. : )

I started my reduced schedule in June.  I worked 2 really long days and was able to spend 3 days a week at home with him.  Then when school started, I went to 4 shortened days allowng me to pick him up from school every day.  Hallelujah!

I thought when Joshua went to school full time that I could go to work full time.  Sure – it seems to make sense, but every shred of margin in my life was gone.  My house was never clean, someone else was spending the afternoons with him and I felt like I was always going on fumes.  Bickering was common place in my house because I was always irritable – tired and grumpy.  I make good money, but it is not worth peace in my home.  Part time is perfect for me.  I love the work I do and I love interacting with adults on a daily basis.  I also love seeing Joshua’s little face in the afternoons and having him tell me he KNEW it was me coming down the hall because he heard my keys. : )

Life is grand – just make sure you don’t try to fill it too full.  Too full is no fun.

I have gone through the myths and sufficiently address why they are incorrect or invalid.  Giving a sibling to your child is NOT a good reason to have another child – I don’t care who you are!  The main “concern” is that only children lack social skills.  This is simply not the case based on research released by Ohio State University on August 16, 2010.  There are 3 articles I found that discuss the issue at length. I linked to all of them because the viewpoints are slightly different as are the comments at the end.

Growing Up Without Sibs Doesn’t Hurt Social Skills

What Difference do Siblings Make?

An Only Child is Not a More Lonely Teenager

Happy reading!

I came across this article today and found it interesting. A trend is being seen “across the pond” in the United Kingdom with one-child families becoming the norm:

The one and only: Why more parents are choosing a single-child family

Enjoy!

“You’re just selfish.”

Why? Because I acknowledge my inability to give any more of who I am to another person? They say you can’t get blood from a turnip. Just because children are the ultimate sacrifice doesn’t mean that I am selfish when I decide to stop at one sacrifice. I know my limits. I like my life. I have time and energy for my husband, my son, a part-time job that gets me out with adults using my degree, and a clean house where the laundry is done (most of the time!). I like that I can offer my child the opportunity of private school.

Richard Swenson wrote “Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives.” Just because I CAN add another child to my family, doesn’t mean I SHOULD. We live our lives racing from one thing to another. My life has enough of that without adding another little life to the mix. I went from full-time work outside the home to part-time because I didn’t have any “margin.” I didn’t have enough time to work full-time and feel I spent adequate time with my precious son. Could I quit my job entirely and have another child? Probably, but then we would have LESS resources and MORE responsibilities.

Being realistic about what I can handle and afford (without going into debt) is not selfish. It is simply another argument used by those who think having multiple children is the only choice.