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Go visit her and tell her Alicia from Beaded Royalty sent you!

I pick c.  I personally don’t have this problem because I have made a conscious decision to have just 1 child.  I don’t feel guilty and I don’t care what anyone else thinks of my decision.  It is the best decision for our family, and I am comfortable with it.  However, I think for parents that would like to have more children or who have opted not to have more for any number of reasons outside their control, things can become a substitute siblings.

I don’t think anyone ever sets out to spoil their child, but it is easy to do. I have thought long and hard about this one.  We have nice things, no debt and money to spare.  A lot of only-child families are in the same boat.  We were older when we got married, so we were more financially secure when we had Joshua.  I could easily buy Joshua every toy ever made for boys.   Granted, those who know me will giggle because Joshua has a well-stocked play room, however, he does not get things “just because.” He gets them:

• for his birthday and Christmas (which a 1 week apart – boo!)
• when he earns it (I reward a good attitude with points that he can save for a small toy)
• when he sells something he has outgrown – he gets to spend the money

He certainly would like more “stuff.”  Every time we pass Toys R Us, we get the puppy dog eyes. But he understands that we don’t buy things unless there is a reason.  Mom and dad don’t buy everything we want either.  When he is disappointed in not getting that cool toy advertised on TV, we tell him about the widescreen TV we would like to have for the bedroom wall that is not budgeted right now.  Or the deck that would complete our backyard that hasn’t materialized.  I think we are teaching a balanced view of life. That’s not to say I have it all figured out.  Every phase of his life will introduce a new set of circumstances that will have to be addressed.  The key is being aware of the potential for overindulgence and doing what you can to prevent it.

What is your child trying to tell you?  In this age of computers, iPods, Wii and 800+ channels on the TV, kids can’t really be bored, can they?  A small child might really need help in finding another activity to engage in.  An older child may want your attention. My 5 YO son has hundreds of different activities he can do on his own, but he still came to me (usually when I was working at my computer) “bored”.  We had lunch, played UNO, washed my car, and played a cool space police game on lego.com.  In between activities he would play alone and then come back to me “bored.”  Does he want my attention or is he just so used to being entertained that he doesn’t know what to do when the TV and computer are off?

What do you do about it?

1. Try planning a really fun activity outside the house once a week.  A mini vacation from home if-you-will…spend the day at the pool, go to a museum, or go to the zoo.
2. Try planning the day in blocks.  That is, after all, how it is at school.  They know what to expect next and it keeps them engaged.  Younger children may need a pictorial guide to the day – older children will do fine with a list.  Keep an arsenal of activity papers, stickers, books and other activities ready. Put activities in a jar and let them pick when they need a new activity.  Here are some ideas:

• Make a card for daddy, grandma, grandpa, etc.
• Make a fort and then have lunch in it.
• Give them a magnet and tell them to make a list of things that stick.
• Two words – sidewalk chalk!
• Get involved in the summer reading program at your local library – many times prizes may motivate an older child.
• Let them help you cook – it may try your patience (like it sometimes does mine) – but they LOVE it!  You have to do it anyway, they may as well learn while you are at it.
• Bubbles.
• Lay in the grass and watch the clouds for fun shapes.

The possibilities are endless.  You don’t have to spend the whole day entertaining them, but children do need some direction. They are kids. : )

For the times when nothing piques their interest, chances are only “you” will do.  Even though your to-do list is probably as long as mine, plan to take long breaks to play every day.  Even kids with siblings want mom and dad’s attention.

Here are some ways parents can use Valentine’s Day to introduce new family traditions and create some special memories for their children.

1. Food is often the way to the heart. How about getting the whole family involved in making a heart-shaped meal. Place a cookie cutter into a pan. Pour in an egg or some pancake batter to cook into a heart-shaped breakfast treat. Using a heart-shaped template, trim French toast or sandwiches into a heart-shaped lunch. A larger template can make a Valentine’s Day pizza a favorite dinner or evening treat. And don’t forget the heart-shaped cookies. Get the kids involved in the preparations, and let them decorate their heart-shaped goodies with pink sprinkles or red strawberries. They’ll love it that much more.

2. Kids love a Valentine’s fashion show. Have each participant, including Mom and Dad put together an outfit from items found around the house. The only rule is that the models can only wear white, pink or red. Get creative – a silk flower bonnet, a white tablecloth evening gown, a red sports equipment ensemble. Help younger ones who are unable to do it themselves. Then, invite Grandma and Grandpa to see the crazy ideas everyone has come up with to showcase their Valentine’s spirit.

3. Create a family gift that will keep on giving. Work together to create a jar of special notes — include anything that will make the other people in the family feel loved when they read them (a special memory about a great time together as a family, a meaningful poem or quote, something you love about every member of the family). Work on them individually or together. Then, over the next several months pull one from the jar during family nights and share it.

4. Set up a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt. Hide Valentine’s treats around the house with clues that lead family members from one spot to the next. This is an easy game to modify for children of different ages simply by setting different levels of difficulty for the clues.  Little ones can be given pictures and older children can follow written clues.

5. Instead of giving gifts, make “coupons” for each other. Every person could give one or two coupons to every member of the family to redeem whenever they want. Parents could exchange back rubs or a night off from the dishes. To their children, they can give an extra bedtime story, a special meal or treat. Children can make coupons up for their parents for hugs and kisses or a week of taking out the garbage.

Get creative. Put on your thinking caps and you can make great Valentine’s Day memories your family will treasure forever.

About the Author:
Jennifer Kirkpatrick is a busy mom of two and an entrepreneur who creates and sells unique items for kids of all ages. Visit her online store Pipsqueak Boutique for great baby gifts. And check out her clothing line, Define*Me Clothing for fun personalized kids clothes.

I went back to work 7 months ago and I feel like I am missing a lifetime of experiences with Joshua.  I drop him off at school in the morning and get home 12 hours later.  Do I love my job? Yes!  Am I glad I have a job in the current economy?  Yes!  Do I miss my son?  Yes!  Such is the quandary so many of us find ourselves in these days.  I thought with him in school full-time, I would be free to go back to work full-time.  My job extends past his school day and during the summer so it has been a tug-of-war with my heart since the day I started.

Ladies, don’t take the decision to go back to work lightly.  I did – I had no idea how much it would change my life.  Staying home isn’t for everyone.  Some people are wired to work outside the home and come home energized.  Most nights I come home dead-tired.

As with the decision on whether to have 1 or more children, there are no clear-cut answers.  All I can do is present my experiences so you can make the best decision for you and your family.  Cheers as we ring in the New Year.  May 2010 be better than 2009!