The Only Child Option

I write this post as a Rambling, but there are plenty of nuggets to glean for helping your only child through a temporary living situation.

We moved 1 month ago from PA to TX.  Our house is for sale, and rather than stay in PA while Dad started his job alone, we opted to join him. We left our “stuff” in the 3200 squ ft house, rented furniture, and now all 5 of us – Mom, Dad, Joshua, Maggie and Mindy (our 2 Spinger Spaniels) – live in a 700 squ ft apartment.  Oy!  We are living in less than 25% of the living space, and we have to walk to the dogs (rain, sun, wind, etc) rather than let them out into an Invisible Fenced yard. We have 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom – down from 4 and 3.  We share a closet and a dresser. We have learned to use our space wisely! Thankfully we have a full-size washer and dryer.

So how do we keep our sanity?  It isn’t easy.  We have our moments when the best thing for 1 or more of us to do is to go exercise, take a walk, go for a drive, etc. But even in this tiny place, we each have our own space.  Dad has the nightstand in the bedroom from which he does the budget and pays the bills.  Mom has the kitchen table from which I run my Beaded Royalty jewelry business.  Joshua has an alcove in the bedroom with books, stuffed animals and a small toy box.  He also has a tendency to take over the living room coffee table with his Legos. LOL

My first step toward stability was to find a private school for Joshua.  We hit the ground running when we arrived in Texas and I think we found one that is a good fit. We have to complete the application process before we have a final answer, so at this point our poor child doesn’t even know where he is going to school next year.  In an effort to keep him connected to friends, we tried to keep in touch with his classmates in PA.  Bad idea. There are apparently 2 types of kids when it comes to moving. Those that cling and those that separate.  My son wanted to separate.  How did we know?  Every time we talked about connecting with the kids in PA, we would remember negative things.  That was strange because our son was usually positive.  It turns out he was saying, “I want to leave PA behind and move forward with TX.”

Our next step toward stability is to find a church.  There are SO many in the Dallas area that it is mind-boggling. Initially I was thinking that we should hold off finding a permanent church because we didn’t know where we would ultimately live.  However, as I watch the houses that become available in our price range and meet our requirements, they are popping up in the same general areas.  I think it would help Joshua to have a church to call “home.”  We were active at our church in PA and he had friends that he only saw at church. One thing we will do until we decide on a church is keep Joshua with us in the main service. He is old enough to pick up on some of what the pastor is saying and colored pencils and paper keep him from getting bored.  I just don’t think it would be fair to ask him to go to a new Sunday school class every Sunday. That would throw ME off!

One permanent thing we have done is get TX license plates on my car.  We did that yesterday and it makes the whole move seem a little more definite.

Beaded Royalty Supports Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Breast cancer is the second most prevalent cancer that affects 1 out of every 8 women. This year alone, more than 200,000 women and 1,500 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Beaded Royalty is partnering with the American Cancer Society (ACS) to help increase breast cancer awareness, formulate early diagnostic treatment programs and put an end to this terrible disease.

From now until October 31st, Beaded Royalty will donate 100% of the profits for each Breast Cancer Jewelry item purchased. Breast cancer jewelry can be viewed and purchased online. On November 1, 2010, Beaded Royalty will write a check to the American Cancer Society for the total amount collected.

Breast Cancer Bracelet	Beaded Badge Lanyard	Cancer Survivor Bracelet

Gemstone Breast Cancer Bracelet	Breast Cancer Earrings

“This fundraiser is in honor of a close friend who is currently fighting breast cancer,” said Alicia Staz, owner of Beaded Royalty. “She lives outside Harrisburg, PA where she works as an engineer. She is married to her high school sweetheart and they have a 5-year old daughter.”

Classic symptoms of breast cancer include a new lump that does not go away, spontaneous discharge from the nipple, a change in the contours of the breast, redness or pitting of the skin. The best form of prevention is regular screenings for breast cancer before symptoms are exhibited.  All women should do a Breast Self-Exam on a monthly basis.  In women younger than 40, a breast exam should be part of their routine annual physical.  In women older than 40, a mammogram should be performed on a yearly basis.

You are invited to talk with a representative from Beaded Royalty to discuss the Breast Cancer Awareness Fundraiser.

Alicia E. Staz
Owner, Beaded Royalty
1-888-876-0784
alicia@beadedroyalty.com

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When I was a kid, I had a Holly Hobby pillowcase that said “Start each day in a happy way.”  It actually worked most mornings – don’t tell my mom! : )

Recently I was feeling a little sorry for myself because I had to get up after only 5 hours of sleep and I wanted to stay in bed.  I don’t even get to see Joshua in the morning because of how early I leave.  I came around a bend in the highway and this is what popped into view:

Wow! Now I look forward to the sunrise in my drive.  This is my happy start to the day.  What is yours?

I learned a very important lesson last week. I am not proud of how I CAME to my conclusion, but I thought sharing it might help some who haven’t gotten to organized sports with their kids yet (or maybe some who have, but are frustrated by a similar situation).

My son started playing with the local soccer club a few weeks ago. As a general rule, he is nervous in new situations. It is just his personality. I try to keep a positive outlook and nudge him forward. He is usually fine once he gets started, but with soccer, he ended up crying a few times each practice. There were 2 other kids crying intermittently also, so I started to think maybe we had a bad coach. I mean, soccer is supposed to instill a love of the game, not terror and frustration. I got myself all worked up, and was ready to confront him. I decided I would watch one more practice before saying anything.

I had an epiphany. It isn’t that the coach is bad – it is just that he is at the opposite end of the personality spectrum from my son. Joshua is shy and sensitive. The coach is confident and matter-of-fact. He has a lot to teach the kids. He is clearly an expert with plenty of experience. So at the end of practice, instead of confronting him on his “bad” coaching style, I asked him what I could do to help Joshua like soccer more. Joshua’s crying bouts had mostly been when someone would steal the ball away from him. The coach suggested I practice doing that at home so it would become an ok thing at practice. Joshua was fuming mad at me the first time I went out and tried it with him (his frustration on the field was tears, with me, it was anger). The second time it was more like a game (that’s what soccer IS). I will try again tonight and then practice is Tuesday. Here’s hoping and praying we don’t have anymore tears.

Thank goodness I didn’t open my big mouth and “roar” like a momma bear at the coach. His only fault is that is isn’t like my son. LOL

So we spend mucho $$ on a swing set.  My thought was, he’s an only child, he will have hours of fun playing on his wonderful new swing set.  Guess what?  He only plays on it when he has friends over or mom & dad are outside.  He has great fun with his friends.  The playhouse is great for pretending to have a lemonade stand, etc…  Maybe he will spend more time on it by himself as he gets older.  I will tell you one thing – if I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have bought it.  I can take him to the park if he wants to play with friends or with me.  Funny, hindsight is still 20/20. : )