The Only Child Option

I went back to work full-time last June.  It about killed me.  I was never home (1 hour commute each way) and Joshua was going to bed early so I only got to spend 30-60 minutes with him a day.  In March my childcare fell through and I was forced to consider my options. Find someone else to care for Joshua after school or quit/go part time at work.  Frankly, I was ready to quit.  If I wasn’t able to go part time, I was at the point where NOT working was better than NOT seeing my son.  I talked to my boss and she surprised me by being open to the possibility.  I am blessed – the business needs of my company at the time allowed them to give me part time hours and essentially hire another full time person to take my place.  The department gains a 2/3 time person overall.  Win/win!

I started my reduced schedule in June.  I worked 2 really long days and was able to spend 3 days a week at home with him.  Then when school started, I went to 4 shortened days allowng me to pick him up from school every day.  Hallelujah!

I thought when Joshua went to school full time that I could go to work full time.  Sure – it seems to make sense, but every shred of margin in my life was gone.  My house was never clean, someone else was spending the afternoons with him and I felt like I was always going on fumes.  Bickering was common place in my house because I was always irritable – tired and grumpy.  I make good money, but it is not worth peace in my home.  Part time is perfect for me.  I love the work I do and I love interacting with adults on a daily basis.  I also love seeing Joshua’s little face in the afternoons and having him tell me he KNEW it was me coming down the hall because he heard my keys. : )

Life is grand – just make sure you don’t try to fill it too full.  Too full is no fun.

On 01-01-10 my little boy will be 5 years old.  My goodness – where has the time gone?  It seems like just yesterday he was learning to walk.  I know, I know, I will be saying that my whole life! LOL

I went back to work 7 months ago and I feel like I am missing a lifetime of experiences with Joshua.  I drop him off at school in the morning and get home 12 hours later.  Do I love my job? Yes!  Am I glad I have a job in the current economy?  Yes!  Do I miss my son?  Yes!  Such is the quandary so many of us find ourselves in these days.  I thought with him in school full-time, I would be free to go back to work full-time.  My job extends past his school day and during the summer so it has been a tug-of-war with my heart since the day I started.

Ladies, don’t take the decision to go back to work lightly.  I did – I had no idea how much it would change my life.  Staying home isn’t for everyone.  Some people are wired to work outside the home and come home energized.  Most nights I come home dead-tired.

As with the decision on whether to have 1 or more children, there are no clear-cut answers.  All I can do is present my experiences so you can make the best decision for you and your family.  Cheers as we ring in the New Year.  May 2010 be better than 2009!

Here is a benefit for moms who don’t want to go back to work until the kid(s) are in school.  If you only have 1, the time frame is sooner.  My only child Joshua will be in school full-time in the fall.  He goes to a private school where Jr Kindergarten is full time.  Yes, they take naps.  No, they don’t get grades.  This school doesn’t even give letter or number grades until the 5th grade!  No pressure whatsoever.  He will take violin and Spanish, practice letters and writing and fill the front of my fridge with cool artwork!

I stopped working when I got pregnant.  I was out of the workforce exactly 5 years (almost to the day).  I started looking for a job this past April thinking with the economy what it is, it would take months to find a job.  Nope.  I got the first job I interviewed for, and it is exactly what I wanted.  It left me scrambling for summer child care since I didn’t expect to start working until school started again.  Everything ended up working out just fine.  Joshua is spending 2 days with Daddy who works from home Tues/Thur, 2 days with my best friend and her 3 kids, and 1 day with Grandma.

Isn’t it better to be home with your child(ren)?  It depends.  My personality leans toward workaholic-ism (is that even a word??).  My at-home business was actually taking me AWAY from my family since I was doing it all the time.  We decided for me to go to work and then be 100% home when I am home is better for us.   Joshua is learning about adapting to new situations and will be a more well-rounded child in the long run. My time with him is now focused and more special because it is limited.  All’s well that ends well.