Sociologist Judith Blake looked at a group of 6-11 year old boys over the course of several years. She recorded how often they participated in group activities as compared to solitary pursuits. She found that children from 1 and 2-child families spent significantly more time pursuing cultural interests such as music and the arts. They also spent more time playing by themselves.

In my opinion, this is not rocket science. How many of you from big families ever tried to listen to a classical music piece when there were siblings running through the room?? It just isn’t possible to play by yourself much when there are other family members who want to spent time with you. Whether it is the younger sister who wants to be just like big brother or vise versa, there is almost always someone demanding an audience.

Another thing to take into consideration is that many solitary pursuits require peace and quiet. A 15-year old with 4 younger siblings is not likely going to pick up musical composition because it requires large periods of quiet contemplation (a rarity in a large family!).   But just because only children have the environment necessary to enjoy solitary pursuits doesn’t mean they don’t like playing with others.  That’s like comparing apples to oranges…

So the question that follows is “Do only children feel lonely?” The answer is that most do not. Only children growing up without siblings don’t know what it is like to have someone around all the time. If their childhood is pleasant in other aspects (good living conditions, parents who get along, etc), they are going to appreciate what they have - they don’t know any different. In reality, many only children appreciate the fact that they have their parents all to themselves. : )