We’ve all heard the stereotype…”only children are spoiled.”  Here’s a question for you – are they spoiled because a. they don’t have anyone at home to play with, b. it’s in their genes, or c. when mom and dad feel guilty about not providing a ready-playmate they give them everything they want and more?

I pick c.  I personally don’t have this problem because I have made a conscious decision to have just 1 child.  I don’t feel guilty and I don’t care what anyone else thinks of my decision.  It is the best decision for our family, and I am comfortable with it.  However, I think for parents that would like to have more children or who have opted not to have more for any number of reasons outside their control, things can become a substitute siblings.

I don’t think anyone ever sets out to spoil their child, but it is easy to do. I have thought long and hard about this one.  We have nice things, no debt and money to spare.  A lot of only-child families are in the same boat.  We were older when we got married, so we were more financially secure when we had Joshua.  I could easily buy Joshua every toy ever made for boys.   Granted, those who know me will giggle because Joshua has a well-stocked play room, however, he does not get things “just because.” He gets them:

  • for his birthday and Christmas (which a 1 week apart – boo!)
  • when he earns it (I reward a good attitude with points that he can save for a small toy)
  • when he sells something he has outgrown – he gets to spend the money

He certainly would like more “stuff.”  Every time we pass Toys R Us, we get the puppy dog eyes. But he understands that we don’t buy things unless there is a reason.  Mom and dad don’t buy everything we want either.  When he is disappointed in not getting that cool toy advertised on TV, we tell him about the widescreen TV we would like to have for the bedroom wall that is not budgeted right now.  Or the deck that would complete our backyard that hasn’t materialized.  I think we are teaching a balanced view of life. That’s not to say I have it all figured out.  Every phase of his life will introduce a new set of circumstances that will have to be addressed.  The key is being aware of the potential for overindulgence and doing what you can to prevent it.